I started the "Not out of Mind" project in 1996, when I discovered that there were very few resources available for families when a baby dies during pregnancy. I also realised that the various denominations of the Christian church were doing very little to provide support and prayer when a baby dies.

This situation has improved in the last few years but there is still a gap in provision.

When a baby dies during pregnancy or around birth the whole family goes into shock. If it is early in pregnancy, it is hard to imagine that a baby has died. If a mother loses her baby at birth she has a funeral to attend within a fortnight of delivery. She may still be very ill after a long labour and emergency caesarean delivery, and be unable to attend.

If this happened many decades ago, she would not have seen the baby at all, for in those days it was common practice not to show the baby to the mother, for fear of upsetting her further. The father was usually the only one to have seen the baby, if at all. For the rest of their lives they would remember their baby with sadness, but until very recently there was no Christian service of memorial for babies lost before birth. Now this old wound can at last be healed.
 

The project provides:

1. Printed resources for families and clergy

• Not out of Mind
• Prayer in Pregnancy
• Prayer after Abortion

Order these 3 books as a set

2. Presentations given by myself for trainee clergy and hospital chaplains about creating liturgies for situations involving:

• neonatal death
• stillbirth
• miscarriage
• abortion

3. A "Not out of Mind" baby bereavement service

This service acknowledges that tiny babies who die before or around birth are missed terribly by their family, and especially by the parents. For some childless couples, who may have tried for many years to carry a baby to term, there is only the memory of one or more pregnancies cut short by miscarriage.

Some families carry a burden of grief that they might keep secret all their lives. I believe that if they are able to remember their babies publicly and grieve openly, this can help and heal the whole family

Download a sample leaflet of a baby bereavement service (92KB)