| The name Narcissus is derived from the word narke in Greek, "to grow numb, or torpid." The English word "torpid" comes from the Latin torpidus, meaning "numb, inert. " In the Greek myth, Narcissus rejected the love of a nymph called Echo, so was punished by Aphrodite to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool. He stayed numb and inert, transfixed by his own reflection and ignoring everyone and everything else, until he died.
Narcissus is able only to see subjective reality within a personal Oblivious Bubble: the real world, that lies outside this Oblivious Bubble, seems not to exist. In every sense Narcissus seems to be oblivious to the real world. Mother and Father may weep for their child's wasted life and their own lost relationship: his (or her) future lover, like the lovely nymph Echo, will fade away out of unrequited love. The life of Narcissus is indeed wasted, spent yearning for that which lies in that Bubble, but is not available. In objective reality, Narcissus floats oblivious in a lake of love, surrounded by friends and the varied and rich feast of life, slowly dying of hunger and thirst. Yet he (or she) seems to be blind, deaf and dumb to all external realities. Life consists only of the inner reality of the subjective Dream, where the deepest desires can never be met and the hunger is endless. He may try to fill the inner emptiness with spurious pleasures, but nothing truly satisfies.
Yet how is this possible for today's "Narcissistic personality"? How it is that a person with a fully- functioning brain - perhaps even a brilliant intellect - can be so blind to objective reality? What is the everyday, inner thinking life of the narcissist? How is he (for the moment we will consider the male narcissist and call him N., but of course there are female narcissists too) to maintain his Oblivious Bubble in practice?
1. Practised non-awareness. To maintain the Oblivious Bubble, N. must pretend that he has no brain. He must switch off all awareness of other people, including their feelings, needs and opinions, and see only a reflection of himself. However, he must insist on being seen as brilliant and clever at all times and woe betide anyone who calls him an idiot, however foolish, brainless and self-sabotaging his behaviour may be in fact.
2. Switched-off feelings. To maintain a sense of inner peace and innocence, N. must pretend not to have feelings such as anger, emotional pain or the desire to inflict hurt on others. He defines this as the virtue of "self-discipline" or "control". However, he becomes excessively hurt and upset if anyone dares to disturb his inner peace. In fact, he goes to elaborate lengths to protect his private space within which he pretends to feel nothing. He calls this a "peaceful life."
But this is an uneasy inner peace, easily triggered into reaction, and it seems to observers that N.'s feelings are not as well damped-down as he may like to think. It is like living near a volcano. To vent this pent-up emotion, N. may fixate on a single cause of his emotional response. He may focus on a traumatic experience, a specific loss or a close relationship as the sole reason for his pain, and refuse to let go, move on or forgive because this outlet is essential for his mental health. Regardless of how provocative his behaviour may be, he insists on respect and acceptance from others. Such people who may be in his life must also switch off their feelings: if they react emotionally to his actions, then they will be blamed for their lack of self control.
3. Voluntary isolation. The Oblivious Bubble is hard to maintain in a world where everyone is aware of you and expects you to be aware of them. Therefore, N. insists upon space and quiet, to be left alone to do his own thing and not be disturbed in any way. He lives life by his own rules. Within his own Oblivious Bubble everything makes perfect sense and he is of course always innocent. Yet with his brilliant intellect N. is clearly capable of knowing that his actions have consequences. He turns off his intellect and continues to act in an anti-social way. This, he knows full well, will eventually produce some kind of negative reaction from outside his Oblivious Bubble. It seems that he needs someone to call him "fool" and shame him, even as he continues to maintain an inner sense of personal invulnerability in the face of punishment - even beatings, jail sentences or total humiliation.
This threefold strategy must be utterly exhausting but it seems easy and natural enough to N., who simply and automatically continues to maintain the Oblivious Bubble, knowing full well it is self-defeating. He is volunteering to act brainlessly and this is his only wish - his one desire.
Now what if Narcissus is a surviving identical twin? What if he did once know a split-off part of himself - very briefly - that grew alongside him for a while but then faded away? What if his identical twin finally vanished altogether, leaving just the vaguest impression in the very back of his mind of some barely alive, split - off part of himself? What if the Oblivious Bubble is created out of the amniotic sac, once shared with his long-lost twin, who remained quiet, zombie-like and unresponsive?
If this is so, and if the reason why his twin was unable to develop was due to a non- functioning brain and central nervous system, then the seemingly strange and self-defeating life of someone with "narcissistic personality disorder" is revealed as perfectly sensible and sane. In his self - imposed brainlessness, he can reenact the faded memory of his half-alive, lost identical twin.
It is a good ruse: in fact, only someone very clever could dream up such a brilliant way to be brainless.
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