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It seems as if humans are genetically predetermined to recognize and identify with one another. That is, we look at each other and recognise our common humanity. Once we have that idea firmly in place then we are able to get on all together, make relationships and build societies. Without the ability to identify with one another, we would be unable to express our humanity through community. (Autism is precisely this: the incapacity to identify with another - to find, to connect, to love.)

THE FIRST LESSON IN RELATIONSHIPS

Wombtwin theory suggests that, for wombtwin survivors, pre-born life with a twin is the first lesson in relationship. We build our first relationship with the first being we encounter: our womb twin. What is learned will vary according to our wombtwin's capacity to participate in relationship.

Now if something happens to disrupt that process, all kinds of problems ensue: let us say that in a monozygotic pair there is one tiny little embryo twin developing normally but another that is conceived fairly normally and for a time is developing along normal lines, but something happens to stop that. The ovum is blighted; the embryo develops abnormally; the embryo or fetus is aborted; the embryo or fetus dies and disintegrates. The critical factor is that in this case the dying twin is unable to become a fully-developed human person. The surviving twin will inevitably identify with this tiny damaged embryo, and also feel unable to become fully human.

AWARENESS

This is assuming that we are aware of one another and ourselves from the very beginning of our lives: without this assumption, wombtwin theory can't possibly work, and this assumption must be made in order for us to continue here. Also we must be aware of the fact that these impressions are being gained while the brain is in the process of development and for at least some of that experience the brain of the survivor was only partially formed.

These prebirth impressions are necessarily vague and confused, without any sense of time or chronology and without any sense of a personal boundary. There is no way for one pre-born monozygotic twin to realise that they are indeed a separate individual from their twin: after all, some born identical twin pairs have a problem with personal boundaries throughout life and may even say they “feel part of a single soul.”

ABNORMAL DEVELOPMENT

So what about the survivor? Let us say that the identical twin developed abnormally, because the original split did not occur evenly. As a result, the survivor may have some additional organs or limbs such as an extra toe, or have dyslexia. At the psychological level, the pre-birth programming of [part of me is abnormal] will continue to run in born life until it is deconstructed and fully understood as inappropriate - in fact, to do with Someone Else altogether.

FRANK's STORY

For instance. Frank is an adult wombtwin survivor who is ultra conformist; afraid of being considered abnormal or extraordinary. He is always in a rush to get things done, for fear that he will be overwhelmed by any further demands on his capacities to cope and be rendered paralysed and unable to function at all. Here is the pre-birth programme: [I am afraid that something will happen to paralyse me: I have one very small window of opportunity, after which it will be too late and my capacities will never be restored.]

This is a refection created in the behaviour that is a mirror image of the womb twin: the process of identification means that the other person is the mirror through which he is able to see himself. In this case he assumes that he is, or at least may be, abnormal and different. He will live a very short life before being rendered incapable of any life at all. The picture is so clear that it is almost unequivocal: here is an early form of identification with Someone or Something that is not a fully functioning human person. In the constant re-enactment of the womb story, the adult sense of identity of the survivor is compromised, so that he or she remains “A shrivelled, desiccated fragment of what a person can be.” (RD Laing, Politics of Experience p 22)

HEALING

The healing that can occur requires a clear identification of the Other and naming him or her, so that he or she can be imagined as a compete and separate individual. Once that is in place then the healing consists largely of making real the individual stages of embryogenesis and fetal development and of course the mode of dying of your wombtwin. Set against a real and fully understood original womb scenario, many fears and much anguish can be put to rest.

Then, as the sole survivor, you can remodel your sense of personal identity in relation to others. In the mirror that is the minds of others, you will find not the tiny frail wombtwin of long ago but strangers, each with a separate and fully-functioning brain, well capable of seeing you in all your natural giftedness. There has been a lifelong misunderstanding - a “fetal assumption” - made out of natural naiveté.

You are after all separate, complete and whole. You are in fact capable of empathy and all the rest of the human capacities that are genetically programmed within you for the creation of community, and without which the human race cannot survive.

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